QUI ESTIS? (WHO ARE YOU?)
It’s just 5:25am and I am craving hot pepper soup because of how cold the weather is. For a second I thought I was in New Hampshire. While I was fantasizing about hot pepper soup, I got a call from an old friend crying and lamenting on how she has always wanted to be an actress but her clique of friends have written her off. She doesn’t know what she wants anymore, what to do with her life or why she’s living. This might sound funny or basic to you but it really touched me, not because she was my friend but because she doesn’t know her self-worth and so she can’t even know what she can do or what she cannot do. Anyways we got talking and the rest is, no not history.
QUI ESTIS? Who are you? What do you stand for? And what is your purpose for living? As bitter as it may sound most of us do not know our self worth hence we can’t answer this question, we can possibly define what Economics is by Adam smith and the six other scholars but we can’t define who we are. What a world we live in where to be normal you have to blend in and to be accepted you have to follow the crowd and hide under the shadows of a dead leaf because of lack of self worth. To make it clear, self worth is the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person. In other words it is less about measuring yourself on your external actions and more about valuing your inherent worth as a person. It’s about whom you are- QUI ESTIS?
I remember when I was younger and I wanted to be beautiful, now I’m older and I want to be intelligent, I want to burn hearts with brilliance and engulf souls with compassion. I want to be loved for my thoughts and nothing else. This is what I want to be not who I am? I used to be a girl who makes a lot of mistakes like you do or even more than you do, who has followed the crowd at some point in my life just like you are or you had, who has allowed other peoples opinion affect myself, who has been written off by people whom little did I know were envious of me. Then I realized that for me to be able to be what I want to be (not being a lawyer Please that’s just my future ambition, and yes there’s a big difference) building myself worth is very important. I always like being practical and I’ll tell you that it isn’t easy. It requires a lot of patience although people could mistake it for pride but in building yourself worth you have to avoid overlaying what people think about you. How what they say does or think help you cater for your personality biko? You have to know that there is only one you and you can’t die a photocopy but an original. Always do what you want at all times and trust your own feelings. It’s your happiness that matters even if it costs you a fortune.
The moment you realize your self-worth you start seeing yourself different from others, as a matter of fact you never see yourself blending in…Ehn blend in for what???!! By building you self-worth you have to learn to be what I call ‘’UNFUCKWITHABLE’’ that is when you are truly at peace with yourself nothing anyone says or does bothers you and negativity can’t even touch you. Break the habit of trying to please everyone at all times because being a people pleaser would displease people who have a high self-worth and finds such behaviour cringe-worthy. Get it right, not everybody would like you, some people don’t even like themselves. You can’t even achieve your dreams if you lack self-worth and since you are the only one that has the power to define yourself, so what’s the essence. My dear you should work on your resilience-resilient people have the emotional strength to get through difficulties without falling apart, they are real enough to know that there would always be challenges and to get out of it? They must! I’m not sorry for seeing things from a different perspective but I believe you should work on your strengths not your weakness, get better at what you do.
We can never be perfect; we would all always have our flaws. Just never let someone break your core values and forgive yourself when you go wrong its necessary. Lastly, be honest and positive with yourself, you are who you say you are.
I ask again, QUI ESTIS? WHO ARE YOU? Oh well I’m just here like *sips coffee and goes back to bed*
Chisom Obasi is a 400level law student of babcock university